Sweetest thing...

Throughout this whole adoption process, Katie, out of all of us has probably had the most difficult time sharing her thoughts and feelings. For a number of reasons I think; first of all, come on - she's 15! She is going through that awkward phase between child and adult; not looking for approval one minute and then craving our approval the next! And she has always had a hard time sharing her feelings, even when she was a wee little thing. This has been very challenging for someone like me to deal with...someone who shares every flickering thought and feeling and wears her heart on her sleeve. But I have come to appreciate her deliberate and intentional way of sharing - it has to be really important and even then, she is not overly dramatic; this I am told by my friends is something they wish they could bottle up and share with their teenage daughters, so I have come to embrace it!!!

With all this said, it's been hard for me to know where her head is in all this. Is she happy about having another brother and sister, is she worried that her life is going to change too much, is she worried how the kids will fare in our small town? She may not think any of these things...but I just haven't known! Frankly, it has worried me a fare amount, it has been something I have constantly prayed about. I have just kept reminding myself that this isn't real yet and she's just the type of kid that needs "REAL" to deal!

Then today....ironically, the day after passing court, we got a letter from the kids. Which is always so exciting, BUT today's letter was not for Todd and me....it was for KATIE! Oh my, I wish I could explain her look, how I could actually see her feelings written on her face - she was filled with pride and dare I say...maybe even a tinge of love! And for the first time, as she read aloud "My sister Katie, I love you. I know you are coming for me soon." Her heart just opened and grabbed that little Lydia up and took her in whole!!! I think with passing court and the letter, it has finally sunken in and become real. Even though she has adamantly been opposed to going to Ethiopia with us to pick up the kids (mostly out of fear of the flight), she came to us tonight to ask more specific questions about the what if's. The neatest part of all is that without us asking, she wrote Lydia back immediately when she got home from school. She even sealed the envelope before she told us; this means there was something gushy and sweet in the letter that she doesn't want us to see (she has to keep up the facade you know!).

Anyway - what I have found is, the most special and fulfilling parts of adoption are not where you think they will come from. Sometimes it comes in the form of a big triumph, like passing court and sometimes it comes from witnessing the small and steady growth in the hearts of those we love!

Blessings to you all - Amy