Back to life . . .

Wow, what a full two weeks since we've been home! Tons of visits from family and friends, Dermatology & Doctors appointments, Dentist & Eye appointments, first visit to the theater, church, starting school, playdates, Mother's Day, etc! These are just a few of the things that have been keeping me from posting since we've been home. The other big reason is that I just don't have words for any of it. I don't have words to express what my eyes saw and my heart felt in Ethiopia. I don't have words for how much I loved all the other children we got to know and had to leave behind. I don't have words for how wonderful Lydia and Biniam are. I was changed from the inside out and I just don't know how to let everyone know.

Frankly, right now - as passionate as I am, I'm afraid of coming across righteous or judgemental because what I want to say to people I love, friends and even strangers on the street is "COME ON - I KNOW YOU HAVE AN EXTRA BED (and you're supposed to be a Christian)......DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA THAT THERE'S A KID OUT THERE WAITING FOR YOU?" "DO YOU REALLY NEED THAT MERCEDES? WOULDN'T YOU RATHER GIVE A BEAUTIFULLY WONDERFUL, GOD CREATED CHILD A LOVING HOME?" "WAKE UP....SOMEONE NEEDS YOU TO BE THEIR MOM AND DAD!" "KIDS ARE GOING TO DIE IF WE DON'T HELP." It is really something I think about all the time. I recently wrote my family about our adventure and told them that Todd and I are "ruined". They questioned my choice of word as sounding negative. Well, to some extent it is. We are ruined...our idea of life as we knew it is over. Our easy, care free existence is no longer! Now we are scarred forever by what we saw and we are burdened by what we know is truth - there are millions and millions of children who are hurting and desperate for parents like Todd and me. That's hard to think about every day and know I am powerless to do anything about it. The only power I have is my voice and I'm afraid to use it. I'm afraid to push people away with my conviction. This "conviction thing" is something that is new for me and I'm working on how to deal with it gracefully! Friends, family......please bare with me ok!

Now, on to Lydia & Biniam! I don't really think if Todd and I got to hand pick two kids we could have done better! They are so great.....easy going, fun, silly, smart and tender. I have been fearful to post about this too, out of fear that I'm going to "jinx" it! Things really couldn't be more blissful. I just keep reminding myself to remember these days when the hard days come - which I'm sure they will.

The other surprise is that watching Katie and Jack with the kids has made me love them more - I really didn't think that was possible, but it's true! It's brought out the very best in their hearts and souls. I truly believe they are the big winners in this adoption thing. I shutter to think of all the lessons and faithful growing opportunities they would have missed out on without this experience.

I can say hands down that this has already enriched our lives as a family more than our entire life experiences combined.

Amy